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<title>All I've ever known is how to hold my own ( But now I wanna hold you, too) by A_Butter_Churner</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882866">All I've ever known is how to hold my own ( But now I wanna hold you, too)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Butter_Churner/pseuds/A_Butter_Churner'>A_Butter_Churner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Les Misérables - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Barricade, short and sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:48:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Butter_Churner/pseuds/A_Butter_Churner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire comforts Enjolras after the barricades</p><p>(it's really soft and self-indulgent)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>All I've ever known is how to hold my own ( But now I wanna hold you, too)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For Noir: You asked, I delivered. Ramleyjoltaire for youuuu &lt;3 Love ya!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Grantaire had to admit, not everything was perfect at first.</p><p> </p><p>First came the wave of realization. The moment when he would walk down to the Musain and almost pour a bottle of wine for two, before realizing that Bossuet had not accompanied him, nor would ever accompany him again. The moments when he and Enjolras would glance at crooked old Thenardier and the miserable girl standing beside him and remember her fearless sister, who perished in the arms of the one she loved. The times when the two of them would stand side by side, facing the clock, watching the seconds tick into minutes and tock into hours, each twitch of the hands sending bursts of Courfeyrac’s laughter or Gavroche’s smirk or Jehan’s sweet voice. And it hurt, but Grantaire dealt with it by squeezing Enjolras’ hand in under the stark sun, reminding him that they had one another.</p><p> </p><p>Next, though, came the tears. Grantaire had no tears left to cry, he burned them to nothing with liquor, but his Apollo was a different story entirely. Enjolras sat by the window every day and wept like an ever flowing river, eroding his colored cheeks with streams of salt. Enjolras sat and cried, cried for memory of Combeferre’s fond stare or Joly’s polite cough. For Feuilly’s subtle smile or Bahorel’s drunken cheers. And it hurt to watch, but Grantaire dealt with it by pressing kisses to Enjolras’ dark hair, grounding them both. To remind him that he was still there.</p><p> </p><p>The worst were the sleepless nights.</p><p> </p><p>This was one such night.</p><p> </p><p>“R?” a voice murmured in the dark.</p><p> </p><p>“Hmm?” Grantaire whispered back, still awake. He turned on his side to see Enjolras lying next to time, warm brown eyes wide and afraid. Grantaire softened at the look on his lover’s face, tracing a hand along his cheekbone and leaving it to rest on his neck. “What’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Enjolras closed his eyes, tears budding once again. “I saw them… it’s my fault, R… it’s all my fault!”</p><p> </p><p>Grantaire pulled his lover in, letting him rest his head on his chest. “My love, it is not. You are not to blame. What do you keep saying? It is the system that is at fault?”</p><p> </p><p>Enjolras cracked a tiny smile, then it disappeared leaving R heartbroken. “They must condemn me now as their souls fly free. They must truly despise me.”</p><p> </p><p>Grantaire pressed a kiss to Enjolras’ forehead. “Oh, Mon Ange. No one could ever despise you.” He punctuated this statement with a fluttering kiss to his lover’s lips and a soft murmur of the words ‘I love you’ before holding Enjolras tightly as they both drifted off to a sound sleep.</p>
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